Hatred has many manifestations


  • NJ Diner Leaves Anti-Gay 'Tip' for Lesbian Waitress (ABC News)View PhotoNJ Diner Leaves Anti-Gay ‘Tip’ …

A New Jersey waitress and former Marine says she was “offended” after a customer left an anti-gay note on a check in place of a tip because she is a lesbian.

Dayna Morales, a server at Gallop Asian Bistro in Bridgewater, N.J., said a family dining at the restaurant Wednesday night skipped the tip on their $93.55 bill and scribbled an explanation why.

READ: Tennessee Man Denies Writing N-Word on Red Lobster Receipt

“It says, ‘I’m sorry but I cannot tip because I do not agree with your lifestyle and how you live your life,'” Morales told ABC News station WABC-TV Thursday.

Morales, who has been waiting tables on and off for 10 years, said she never told the family she was gay when she introduced herself.

“Normal introduction, ‘My name is Dayna. I’ll be taking care of you.’ Right away the mom looked at me and said, ‘I thought you were going to say your name was Dan,'” Morales said.

After she served the family their meal without further incident, she discovered the note on the bill. Morales sent a picture of the receipt to the “Have a Gay Day” Facebook page, where it has since elicited more than 2,000 comments.

“I was rather offended, mad,” Morales said of the incident. “I didn’t know how to react to that. I never thought that would ever happen.

About The Persecution of Mildred Dunlap

The year 1895 was filled with memorable historical events: the Dreyfus Affair divided France; Booker T. Washington gave his Atlanta address; Richard Olney, United States Secretary of State, expanded the effects of the Monroe Doctrine in settling a boundary dispute between the United Kingdom and Venezuela; and Oscar Wilde was tried and convicted for "gross indecency" under Britian's recently passed law that made sex between males a criminal offense. When the news of Wilde's conviction went out over telegraphs worldwide, it threw a small Nevada town into chaos. This is the story of what happened when the lives of its citizens were impacted by the news of Oscar Wildes' imprisonment. It is chronicle of hatred and prejudice with all its unintended and devastating consequences, and how love and friendship bring strength and healing. Paulette Mahurin, the author, is a Nurse Practitioner who lives in Ojai, California with her husband Terry and their two dogs--- Max and Bella. She practices women's health in a rural clinic and writes in her spare time. All profits from her book are going to animal rescue, Santa Paula Animal Shelter, the first and only no-kill shelter in Ventura County, CA, where she lives. (see links below on Ventura County Star Article & Shelter) To find out more please go the The Persecution of Mildred Dunlap on facebook or Amazon or e-mail us at the gavatar addresses. Thank you. (photos: of Paulette, her family, and a reading at The Ojai Art Center, July 2012)
This entry was posted in INTOLERANCE, TOLERANCE. Bookmark the permalink.

61 Responses to Hatred has many manifestations

  1. Denise Hisey says:

    Some people have no manners or sensibilities.

  2. sknicholls says:

    Dayna did her job. She should have been rewarded as such. Ignorance.

  3. mrpipponders says:

    Appalling rudeness and impertinence; perhaps the word ‘bigot’ on written their bill would have been appropriate!

    • I so appreciate your stopping by and commenting. From my perspective tolerance cuts both ways and I’d rather say that the action was unkind, hateful, and leave the label off the person. This beautiful waitress said she’d serve the customer again, this by example is tolerance. It’s one of the reasons I posted it because while highlighting the act of hatred it shows returned kindness. A remarkable woman she is.

  4. Mustang.Koji says:

    Totally the customer is childish. While I dislike bringing up politics, Obama is helping discrimination fester. I eel real bad for the Marine who served that same idiot customer…

  5. the purely spiteful hurts are the worst–and bigots so comfortable with their views. I call bullsh**

    this is an expression of much that is wrong with the world. who is anybody to say how anybody “should” be–about anything. Within a moral compass, of course.

  6. People amaze me and astound me. And sadly not always positively. What is wrong with people that they just exude hate?

  7. Rude people. And so self satisfied in their rideness.

  8. FlaHam says:

    Paulette, I tease that I maybe crazy but I am not stupid, Also Ron White, says “You can’t fix stupid”. Clearly Ms Morales encountered stupid people, hurtful, ugly, stupid people. The ones that need it the most get it the least. I feel for Ms Morales, and what she had to put up with. Please take care, Bill

    • You can’t fix stupid, wish that were different, but it seems sadly true. Luckily Ms Morales has a good, decent, and kind head on her shoulders and seems no worse for the insult, hopefully that’s so. She certainly demonstrated grace in her response. Thanks, Bill.

  9. Devil like, rude, crude, and they most likely have a gay person somewhere hiding in their family. People that react the loudest usuallly have something to hide.

  10. jmgoyder says:

    It seems to me that the most hateful people are the most ignorant. I can’t understand this kind of horrible act.

  11. Was this family’s statement a hit and miss labeling they use. Disgusting any way you look at it.

  12. Jean-Jacques says:

    And the moon is made out of cheese, so I drink coffee instead. This you will agree makes about as much sense as not leaving a tip because of someone else’s sexual leanings. “TIP” means “to improve performance”, not “to insult people” thus with lack of grey matter between the ears, so much so as to utter that bigoted stupidity. Sadly very decent people of all walks of life must live with that kind of crippled mental zombies in this inhuman world. JJ

  13. seeker says:

    Some people are so ignoramus.

  14. Clanmother says:

    There is no excuse for intolerance. We have been granted life – it is a gift. Our response must always be, without reservation, to show our thankful gratitude through kindness and compassion. We share the world with creatures that can show us how to love – let them be our example.

    “If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans.” James Herriot

    • Made me tear up, Rebecca, but then that’s the mood I’m in as well. Sometimes the sorrow of how “we” treat each other just pains my heart. I know, I know, I’m too overly sensitive. I’m blessed with knowing a lot of really good people, including family, but, I’ve never had an animal let me down. Thank you.

  15. Clowie says:

    I just don’t understand people like that.

  16. mickcgorman says:

    The comment left by the customer was very bad but what surprised me more was some of the comments on the yahoo story!

    • I suppose it’s no surprise that it surprised you, Mick. Not much surprises me these days. It’s sad but people are all over the map and some of the off handed comments, diversions (soap box?) are just humans being humans, some shine and others try to put out lights, like the customer who made the comment. I just have to wonder how happy he is on this earth.

      BTW: just cruised your great site and really enjoyed reading a little about you. I understand your feelings about your beloved departed Luca and wish you joy in finding your new furry family member. Always love connecting with another animal loving friend.

  17. anguscroix says:

    Not tipping is slave labor, no one deserves to be waited on by a slave. No one. No respect for a fellow human being is NOT a value taught by Jesus. Such judgments bring judgments upon oneself. The bitterness of the heart of the one who wrote the note is to be pittied.

    • Thank you, anguscroix! It made me feel heartsick to read this, not because of what you wrote but the situation. I had a friend, in the closet, commit suicide to avoid such harsh treatment. The pain in my heart over acts of intolerance runs deep. I so appreciate your coming here and joining the conversation.

  18. Francina says:

    Sad, very sad, Paulette. and very unkind indeed.
    groetjes, Francina xo.

  19. Fear is an ugly thing.

  20. FreeRangeCow says:

    Wow. I am flabbergasted.

  21. I find it quite astounding that people should be so judgemental and unkind. Where does such unkindness get them? I wonder that.

  22. WordsFallFromMyEyes says:

    Can’t tip but CAN be served by you, waited on by you, have you work for my pleasure. Grrrrr. Furious.

    • I’m sure that’d be more important to her. I read a follow-up that donations in the thousands flew in to her from all over the world as a compensation for this customers rudeness. She is giving it all to men & women who served in the military to pay it forward. She’s a class act, a light of kindness and grace, in a bilge of insanity. Appreciate your joining in here.

  23. Ben Naga says:


    We punish the “gay”
    What the fuck does it matter
    What we might put where?

  24. So hard to believe that there are still ignorant people like that in the world. How sad for them and the people they come in contact with..

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