Father Disowns Homophobic Daughter in Epic Letter

Today in awesome parenting news: A father, who learned that his daughter disowned his grandson because he was gay, responded in the most amazing way.

Dear Christine,

I’m disappointed in you as a daughter. You’re correct that we have a “shame in the family”, but mistaken about what it is. Kicking Chad out of your home simply because he told you he was gay is the real “abomination” here. A parent disowning her child is what goes “against nature.” The only intelligent thing I heard you saying in all this was that “you didn’t raise your son to be gay.” Of course you didn’t. He was born this way and didn’t chase it any more than he being left-handed. You however, have made a choice of being hurtful, narrow-minded and backward. So, while we are in the business of disowning our children, I think I’ll take this moment to say goodbye to you. I now have a fabulous (as the gays put it) grandson to raise, and I don’t have time for heart-less B-word of a daughter. If you find your heart, give us a call. – Dad.

The letter was posted on Monday to the pro-gay youth organization FCKH8’s Facebook page, to the tune of more than 3,000 shares, 8,000 likes, and 400 comments. “We are going to be sending his grandpa a free ‘Straight Against Hate’ tee for being such an awesome example and inspiring so many,” FCKH8 spokesperson Luke Montgomery tells Yahoo Shine. “The world needs more parents and grandparents like this who know that the true ‘sin’ is rejecting your own children just for them being gay.”

Many parents get it and are expressing their unconditional love in various ways, from penning heartfelt letters to posting Facebook updates that have quickly gone viral. In September, when Michelle Conway McClain from Union, Missouri, learned that her son had come out on Facebook, she posted a response on her own page: “Zach, I was surprised by your Facebook post where you came out. I want you to know that I love you unconditionally. I love you with my actions, not just my words. I’m so proud of you. You are the bravest person I know. I’ll fight for you always. Your sexual orientation does not define you. You are still the boy who forever won my heart. The only thing that concerns me is the number of empty soda cups and tea bottles in your room. Throw them away before ants come inside. I love you always, Mom.”

In March, a father who overheard his son contemplating how to reveal his sexuality, intercepted him with this note: “I overheard your phone conversation with Mike last night about your plans to come out to me. The only thing I need you to plan is to bring home OJ and bread after class. We are out, like you now. I’ve known you were gay since you were six, I’ve loved you since you were born. PS: Your mom and I think you and Mike make a cute couple.” The letter was also posted on FCKH8’s Facebook page.

And in January, a 15-year-old named Laurel came out to her parents by baking them a cake (she called it a “gayke”) with a message that in part read, “Your acceptance would be the icing on the cake.” Then, they ate cake.

(LINK for article: http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/father-disowns-homophobic-daughter-in-epic-letter-230436549.html

About The Persecution of Mildred Dunlap

The year 1895 was filled with memorable historical events: the Dreyfus Affair divided France; Booker T. Washington gave his Atlanta address; Richard Olney, United States Secretary of State, expanded the effects of the Monroe Doctrine in settling a boundary dispute between the United Kingdom and Venezuela; and Oscar Wilde was tried and convicted for "gross indecency" under Britian's recently passed law that made sex between males a criminal offense. When the news of Wilde's conviction went out over telegraphs worldwide, it threw a small Nevada town into chaos. This is the story of what happened when the lives of its citizens were impacted by the news of Oscar Wildes' imprisonment. It is chronicle of hatred and prejudice with all its unintended and devastating consequences, and how love and friendship bring strength and healing. Paulette Mahurin, the author, is a Nurse Practitioner who lives in Ojai, California with her husband Terry and their two dogs--- Max and Bella. She practices women's health in a rural clinic and writes in her spare time. All profits from her book are going to animal rescue, Santa Paula Animal Shelter, the first and only no-kill shelter in Ventura County, CA, where she lives. (see links below on Ventura County Star Article & Shelter) To find out more please go the The Persecution of Mildred Dunlap on facebook or Amazon or e-mail us at the gavatar addresses. Thank you. (photos: of Paulette, her family, and a reading at The Ojai Art Center, July 2012)
This entry was posted in PERSONAL POSTS, TOLERANCE. Bookmark the permalink.

59 Responses to Father Disowns Homophobic Daughter in Epic Letter

  1. tazzielove says:

    Bravo for compassion and tolerance.

  2. gita4elamats says:

    Very heartwarming. 🙂

  3. ileneonwords says:

    Thanks for sharing….What a letter…Great dad/grandad/person!

  4. Pingback: Father Disowns Homophobic Daughter in Epic Letter | 4JusticeNow

  5. seeker says:

    “I AM BORN THIS WAY” as the song goes. Having a different sexual orientation does not make a person less than a human being. I applaud people who accepts you warts and all. Good post Paullette. Ola from Posada.

  6. makagutu says:

    such beautiful stories make me tear in joy! Wonderful stories

  7. nice post, Hope it opens the eyes of homphobic people. It is true that these folks do not choose to be the way nature made them. They have no choice. Sexual orientation is decided in the womb as the fetus develops.



  8. ladysighs says:

    I am sure there are more stories like this. Somehow the other kind get the attention. I did read about this and thought …. there is not a one of us who could be faced with a loved one’s or a friend’s outing. We seem to think it is only happening to the neighbors down the street.

  9. Sage says:

    Sometimes I’m blown away by the ignorance of others. Kuddos to those grandparents, parents, family and friends who accept a gay person for who they are. Great post!

  10. Great post Paulette. I’m so glad that young man has someone who loves him. Period. (And those other young people with awesome family love).

  11. FlaHam says:

    Paulette, thank you, thank you very much. These stories of unconditional love, and acceptance make the world a better place, one word at a time. Please take care, Bill

  12. Forget tolerance, it’s all about LOVE. 😀

  13. Alison says:

    I love hearing stories like these ❤

  14. Teepee12 says:

    I think parents know before the kids do. At worst it’s a cause to give safe sex warnings. Otherwise, they are your kids. They always will be. There are unforgiveable things, but that’s not one of them.

  15. natuurfreak says:

    Like to read this heartwarming story.Every human ,every child deserve it.

  16. Clanmother says:

    Thank you! Love, acceptance, hope, joy….those are the best things of life. May we find seek those things that bring peaceful outcomes to all who walk this beautiful world.

  17. fournier0917 says:

    One would think that in this day and age, with all the available information, anyone with the wherewithal to have and raise children, contrary to previous eras, have to be well enough informed to know as the man said, a child is born heterosexual or homosexual and is not offered a choice at tim of conception. Hard to believe that kind of ignorance persists.


    • So true, JJ. It speaks to the strength of beliefs, that send humans to war outside and inside of their homes. If only it were possible for conversations, dialogues, communications to help open hearts to see things differently, outside of held down thought processes, but then you may say I’m a dreamer. Very grateful for your comment and entering the conversation. Always a breath of fresh air. Hope you’re continuing to heal well and are having a lovely weekend with Marianne and your furry kids.

      • fournier0917 says:

        Communications… that illusive magic word forever being thwarted by radical nationalism, and religions, that historically mostly ends up in the wrong hands. Those hands being the self-serving powers of this planet.

        Yes a dreamer you be, as we all are who ache, and dream that the change we wish for will one day come, even in our personal grain of sand existence. But without said dream we have nothing. Take a look around at our world leaders and those who wish to replace them, and let anyone tell me that dreams are not a our sole survival hope, that said hope in time might not rescue us from our present fate. Believe it or not this is optimism, I am sad to say.

        Yes I am healing rather rapidly…18 stitches removed from my head 5 days ago. Have put the tools aside for a bit, as my contribution to behaving myself. This gives me time to complete the last of my 3 second editions of my first 3 poetry books. As a consequence not too much time for writing and posting new poetry works, for the time being.

        And a grand Sunday to you and yours my dear friend!

      • Magnificently powerful words and I thank you again, deeply.

        That must have been a sizable head injury. Thankfully, you’ve healed and are taking care.

        Can’t wait for the completion of your writing endeavor. Very exciting.

        Always holding you and yours in a place of gratitude. 🙂

  18. 68ghia says:

    My own kid came out properly five years ago. It was not easy for me to accept at first, and sometimes it still rankles slightly, but he is, was, and always will be, my son. I loved him then, and I will love him always. What he does in the bedroom does not make him less of a person, the same as what I do does not make me more of one. And I’d rather have my son with me, enjoying his company, his specialness of being, than to stand on my high, mostly shaky, moral high horse and chase him away.

  19. Francina says:

    Thank you for sharing , Paulette, it’s a heart warming story, The world needs more of this kind of tolerance.
    groetjes, Francina

  20. Misaki says:

    Mummy and I read that letter the other day. Three cheers for the guy who wrote that letter xxx

  21. Kev says:

    I could never disown my own child. It just goes against the grain for me.

    • Hi Kev, I hear you and agree. I couldn’t even disown my dog, let alone a child. I just shake my head at the human condition, not understanding it at all, the hatred that lives in some hearts. Happy you stopped by and commented. You’re always welcome in my cyberhome. Paulette

  22. beebeesworld says:

    Thanks for reading and sharing beebee

  23. a Good message to the world
    with regards

  24. WordsFallFromMyEyes says:

    Oh I love, I love this. It is so wonderful. So iNSPIRING for parents to be so real. This FCKH8r’s page sounds wonderful – projecting positively, beautifully. Love that dad intercepting his son’s intentions to come out – only thing he needs to bring home is OJ & milk 🙂

    This is a wonderful post, Paulette, just wonderful.

  25. hi Paulette. Thank you for liking my poem ‘ Warriors!’ Best wishes, The Foureyed Poet.

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